Blockchain this, tokenise that, just because we can.

An absurd manifesto with oddly sincere consequences.

Let’s be honest: sometimes the Web3 crowd gets carried away. Blockchain voting. Blockchain real estate.Blockchain food delivery.Blockchain… parking?

At a certain point, it feels like we’re playing Mad Libs with ledgers. But what if, stay with me, the absurdity is the point? What if the very act of putting everything on-chain unlocks unexpected ripple effects? Not because it’s efficient, but because it’s… oddly poetic. Maybe even useful.

So here it is: a tour through the ridiculous and potentially revolutionary world of blockchain everything.

For non-members, you can read the full story here.

1. Blockchain your fridge

“It won’t lie about the eggs expiring.”

Each item inside is logged as an NFT. Milk carton #3421: expires Tuesday, carbon footprint tracked, and cow origin verified. Yogurt that’s been there since you were a teenager? Archived for food historians.

Why? Because food waste is a trillion-dollar problem. Knowing what’s in the fridge (and when it’ll die) could change how we eat, shop, and feed the world.

2. Tokenise a tree

“Finally, trees with receipts.”

Every tree gets a smart contract. Chop it down, it triggers an automatic replanting requirement. A single tree becomes a DAO member in a forest-wide governance vote. Even your bonsai gets a say.

Why? Because deforestation isn’t abstract when it sends you an invoice.

3. Tokenise your breakup

“On-chain heartbreak. Immutable.”

Smart contracts divide the streaming accounts, trigger joint custody of the air fryer, and time-lock the petty Instagram unfollow.

Why? Because emotional equity deserves transparency. And gaslighting dies on the blockchain.

4. Tokenise that smell

“You said you smelled it. Now prove it.”

Molecular-level NFTs capture scent signatures from key life events: your wedding day, your grandma’s kitchen, the mosh pit at Coachella. Future generations can literally smell history.

Why? Because scent is memory. And memory deserves metadata.

5. Tokenise your socks

“Because left socks deserve closure too.”

Dual-NFT technology links your socks forever. If one disappears into the laundry void, it sends a ping. Reward tokens issued to the finder.

Why? Because justice in small things makes life better.

6. Blockchain your thoughts

“Think it, mint it.”

A journaling protocol that logs your ideas on-chain in real-time. Every intrusive thought, fleeting insight, or 3AM breakthrough — all preserved forever in decentralised dignity.

Why? Because ideas are currency. And you should own yours.

7. Tokenise the Nap

“Rest, but make it measurable.”

Every nap you take gets logged, rated, and minted as a Sleep NFT. A DAO of nap-takers decides what counts as restorative. Insurance companies can’t deny your tiredness anymore; it’s on-chain.

Why? Because rest is productivity. And we should start treating naps as cultural capital.

Takeaway

Maybe we don’t need to blockchain everything. But maybe the exercise reveals something deeper: that in trying to record the world, we notice it more. We take it seriously. We give it value.

So go ahead. Log your basil plant. Timestamp your dreams. Give your toaster a DAO vote.

Not because it’s rational.

But because it might just remind us what matters.

Blockchain this, tokenise that, just because we can. was originally published in Coinmonks on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.