Psychology of a Gen Z Relationship: Loneliness, Fantasies, and the Role of Technology

Why do young people maintain a one-sided relationship with bloggers, performers, and webcam models? What is a delusionship and how do public figures encourage fans to have parasocial relationships with them (and no, that doesn’t mean dating while skydiving)? In this article, we discuss these issues with professional psychologist Tatiana Persico and Stan Kos, founder at YouMatch.

Generation Z, often called Zoomers, includes those born from the late 1990s to the early 2010s. They are usually described as tech-savvy, pragmatic, open-minded, individualistic but also socially responsible. Gen Z has grown up in a digital world, surrounded by smartphones, social media, and instant access to information. For them, swiping, tapping, and scrolling are about as second nature as breathing.

“A specific period of time when a person is born and grows up and always influences their personality formation,” Tatiana Persico, YouMatch Chief Psychologist, and relationship expert, said. 

Zoomers are so immersed in the virtual world that they often don’t separate it from reality and perceive their online activities as an important part of their real, offline life. Sometimes digital can even replace real: instead of going to a restaurant people now offer delivery, and instead of meeting someone we call them or chat with them on social media. It saves us time and energy – but at what cost?

“The ease and effortlessness with which we can get things and emotions online create an illusion that you don’t have to work hard to achieve something,” Persico said. “In some ways, it is cool. Gen Z are more adaptive and motivated and lots of them believe that you just have to find the right tool to achieve literally everything.”

Today, celebrities, bloggers, movies, and music stars all have accounts on social media. For many people, it gives the wrong idea that all those public figures are easily accessible and ready to communicate with everyone. Indeed, when you follow a blogger who shares their pictures and personal thoughts online every day, you start to feel like you know them personally.

This creates a sense of closeness, similar to what you would feel when having a real relationship with someone in offline life.

From Fans to Delulu: The Unsettling Trends in Gen Z Relationships

The merging of real and virtual worlds, offline and online, digital and analog, gave rise to several curious (and, sometimes, unsettling) relationship phenomena.

The term “parasocial” is usually used in the context of young audiences feeling they have a relationship with the influencer due to the huge amount of the influencer’s content they consume. The influencer in question, however, is unaware of the fan’s existence other than the general knowledge of having fans.

“Stanning” is the act of being overly obsessed with an artist/person/character/etc. When you stan a musician or another celebrity it means that you’re a big fan. These relationships can be exacerbated by the influencers confirming they have more than a creator-to-viewer relationship.

Delusionship is a new word created to refer to a type of relationship where one person was delusional the whole time, and the relationship never really existed in the first place, it was all in their mind and delusions. A “delulu” is a delusional fan girl/boy who believes they can/will end up with their favorite idol or celebrity and invests an unhealthy amount of time and energy into their idol.

Developing feelings for a webcam model (or even a relationship with such a model) is another common but rarely discussed phenomenon of the digital age. This attachment is facilitated by repeated exposure, familiarity, and easily accessible, mostly positive interactions. Unlike real-life relationships, interactions with webcam models always prioritize the user’s needs, fostering a false sense of emotional and physical intimacy. This can lead to a fantasy-driven relationship where the user projects romantic ideals onto the model. 

Such fixations can harm real-life relationships by creating unrealistic expectations and diverting attention from genuine connections. The relationship remains transactional and lacks the complexity and mutual consideration found in real-life partnerships, often leading to secrecy and feelings of shame. 

From Screen to Soul: Understanding Gen Z’s Virtual Intimacy

The widespread internet connection and the rise of social media have contributed to changing the psychological profile of an entire generation.

One of the basic human needs is the need for love, belonging, and closeness. When you interact with a virtual companion regularly, you start feeling like you’ve known this person for a long time, understanding each other’s values and views on life. Gradually, you start feeling like you’ve found that special someone who fulfills your need for close relationships.

It doesn’t matter that you’ve never met this person offline. When you have an intense online relationship, it may feel like it’s all real.

“For some people, having a fantasy-like one-sided online relationship that is fully under their control may be a way to deal with loneliness,” Persico said. “However, Generation Z is rarely familiar with the true feeling of loneliness. They have many online friends and can interact with people who share their interests and values daily. Zoomers are very curious; they know how to occupy themselves and set ambitious goals.”

So, for Gen Z, having a relationship with a webcam model may be completely normal. Because of the deep integration of digital and online platforms in their everyday routine, the divide between real and digital may be blurred to the point where they can no longer see the difference. 

When a Zoomer chooses a real offline partner, they usually have a clear idea of why they need this relationship and what future they will have as a couple.

“When choosing dating apps, Gen Z pays attention to details others might overlook,” Kos said. “The old-fashioned apps with their focus on appearances, likes, and dislikes are too boring for the new generation which is more into deeper communication based on shared interests, interesting educational activities, and large gatherings.”

Dating apps of the future should evolve to be more profound and genuine, both in their user interfaces and matching algorithms, as well as in the values they promote.

“These platforms should include features that encourage authentic connections and minimize user burnout,” Kos said. “Enhancing user experiences to foster authenticity, self-care, and self-awareness is essential, as is creating marketing campaigns that showcase successful, harmonious relationships formed through the apps.”

When Zoomers start a relationship in real life, it is important for them that the emotions are more vivid than in online communication. That is why connecting with their hearts and souls is more important for them than simple attraction to someone’s face and body.